[Masala Alert. Apologies wherever applicable]
10. Have you ever had the need to get people off your back? Facebook is a great way to irritate people. Simply get them to add you as a friend and then spam them with posts from the ‘Aap toh bade cool ho’ page. Watch them wilt in pain while you grin with pleasure. I could tell you all about it and more.
9. Learn English. Yes ! Learn english ! As Slash (tilda-Slash) would secretly admit, facebook taught him there is more to a status than a reservation status and more to a profile than a job profile.
8. Orkutize your world. Now that Facebook is turning into Orkut anyway, why not Orkutize facebook. There are hundreds of awesome communities out there that are dying for new victims and thousands of people who are looking to make new friends. Thankfully Kolli isn’t new to this – Mr. Orkut after all.
7. Make it your source of masala-photus. Just because IPMsg is now behind us doesn’t stop Diesel from adding to his collection. There are still many worlds unconquered by the Dieselcast, and FB is just the way to do that.
6. Turn into Rey Mysterio. You don’t have to wear a mask to do so. Ask blaDE. He has been the biggest pseudo intellectual for years now and FB just keeps him going. All you have to do is put up updates that no one understands. There will always be a bunch who will pretend to understand and comment while the rest of the world looks on in wonder.
5. Maintain that Bhapka. What good is a man without a bhapka as they say. And no one has said it louder than the V00DUDE himself. How does FB help? Oh you just have to go around statusing and adding pictures to project you as the most happening guy on the planet. The bhapka will follow.
4. Get a new occupation. That’s right! Facebook can help train you to be a farmer, a chef, a poker player, a Don or anything else that you may aspire to be. M3mphis has been doing just that for years now and is proud of his ability to change his job just about whenever. In a recent interview, he was quoted saying “If you are not doing what you love. You only need to look harder for that perfect job.” Well said.
3. Mess with people twice your size. On facebook, size doesn’t matter. Who would agree with it more whole-heartedly than rUdi. He has been swearing to people several times his size on FB and getting away with it. Now you can do it too !
2. Turn on the finesse. They say girls can’t resist 2 things : Money and finesse – even if they are both fake. The true ladies man that he is, our very own Baba has had more than a few fine tips up his sleeve to please the fairer sex. With a pickup line as awesome as ‘How am I to look at? 😉 ‘, FB has added another layer of irresistability to his already lip-smacking, chick-drooling persona.
1. Make it your Dairy. Who said Facebook was impersonal? It can serve as your very own ‘Dear diary’. You can keep your most heartfelt desires and your deepest confessions in it. You can write to it about how you love your sister’s home and how jam and biscuits turn you on. The world may be blind to FB’s endless possibilities, but Nigs has rediscovered the magic that was so close to him when he was a little girl. Now you can have another heart that beats with yours, right here on Facebook.
Your Facebook is what you want it to be.