Chapter 3 : Juggy

All characters in the following story are entirely fictional. Any resemblance to real-life persons is entirely coincidental.

Juggy was the soul that I shared my room with. Debates raged in various circles as to who was the more unfortunate of the two for having the other as roommate. Juggy had no doubt in his mind whatsoever. In his opinion, the Indian judiciary system should have considered handing the penalized an option between 5 years of rigorous imprisonment and 5 weeks with me wherever applicable. Once when I was lying half-naked on my bed, he had cared to remark that he couldn’t see why our forefathers even thought of giving up their lives so that scum like me could enjoy freedom. I on the other hand, was hell-bent on proving that Juggy was a wandering perverted saint who had mistaken the university for the Himalayan mountains and his colleagues to be his disciples.

The first reaction of Juggy when he heard of Jojo’s adventures was rather predictable. He swayed for a moment on the spot as though there was a strong breeze determined to knock him down. He stared from me to Jojo repeatedly to ensure that we weren’t fooling with him. Once he had done so, the hand clasped the head in magnificient fashion and we heard him muttering although we barely saw his lips move. We did find out later that he was cursing the reckless, spoilt minds (read Jojo) that, according to him, had sprouted all around him without accord.

To every soul that breathed, he was a positive pain in the ass. When given an opportunity to speak, he would preach and humbly request us to mark his words and follow them. He had, of course, made it to the cellars of fame in our college when he stood up in the middle of the class and downright condemned the use of ‘insensitive and offensive language’ by the professor of algebra. Only later, after he had made a complete ass of himself, did we come to understand that he mistaken the word ‘rate’ for ‘rape’. Even the whole class, all of about 200 students, laughing at him and a furious professor were insufficient to divert him from his means.

It was a wonder, as Teja said, that he knew english. For a man against capitalism, soccer, cigarettes and anything even remotely western, he got along with english pretty well. He seemed to have no complaints, with english-medium education, with the computer or with english songs. He surprised us all when he got his laptop late in the second semester and got us sick and tired of Nickelback by the end of the day. Jojo ran out of the room when he played ‘Rockstar’ for the eight time in an hour. I got the feeling I was beginning to remember the lyrics of the damned song and the tune irritatingly kept playing in my head even when the music had stopped blaring from the speakers. Teja silently swore never to let any Nickelback song to ever infest his iPod and somehow knew Jagdish Jhunjhunwala, alias Juggy, would keep us wondering about his sanity for a few years to come.

Inspite of all that he was, we were good friends with Juggy and like all good friends, we always stabbed him in the front. We couldn’t help it, he was that sort of a person. He was short and plump and seemed to roll when he walked. If were to see him scurrying along a corridor for the first time, one couldn’t help but be frought with the fear that he might simply fall onto his side and lie there like an upturned beetle. His legs were probably more powerful that they looked at first sight. It must take some doing to propel that globular mass forward and onward. His style of walking was comparable only to the Worm and the two of them together were miles away from the rest of the pack.

Juggy’s habits were always a wonder to us. Teja swore he could lay down a thousand bucks and claim Juggy had never masterbated. Jojo took the matter on step further by claiming Juggy didn’t pee (Which, incidentally, none of us had seen him do). I could tell from his nervousness, he had never talked to a girl for more than 10 seconds or 3 sentences, whichever was earlier. However, the word in town was that he did have a girlfriend; which was what beat us all. It paved way for Teja’s remark : “You know, girls have a worse choice than boys when it comes to choosing their soulmates. I mean, just look at the situation. There are so great guys without girls and yet these girls pick out the biggest jackass in the lot to be their boyfriend. Guys on the other hand, have not left out any hot girl. It just goes to show. I bet Juggy’s girlfriend is really hot. It’s just the way the world turns.” Worm merely nodded to whatever each one of us said.

“Did you know Juggy is the sole heir to some few million rupees worth of property?” asked Jojo one day while we stared at the mentioned person scamper off to the cafeteria. There was no rumor that was left unheard by Jojo. It helps to be in the company of girls who are experts at gossip.
“Who said so?” asked Teja.
“I don’t know. That is the word. It seems his dad is a big shot back in his town.”
“Hmm. When we do plan to do our gigs, we’ll make him sponsor us.”
Jojo rubbed his hands together.
“And as the manager of your band. I shall ensure that the money is spent well.”
“Hear, Hear.”

Worm sat staring at Teja’s guitar and silently drinking in every word.

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1 Comment

  1. look at you… you follow ur self huh? 😉


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