“Bai kahaan hai yaar!” cried Naks from somewhere inside the bedroom. It was well past 1pm and Naks was accustomed to being woken up by the bai early in the morning at 10. Nigs was awake though (Somewhat). He was lounging in the living room on the make-shift beds that lay there. He opened half an eye when he heard Naks’s voice, but didn’t bother to reply. It was all part of the charm of the hideout. He turned over on the bed to see Naks stumble into the room coughing his brains out.
“Bai kahaan hai yaar?” Naks repeated, rather uselessly.
“Arey why are you asking me? You took her phone number na? Call your darling bai up and ask her where she is for yourself.”, Nigs mumbled from between the folds of sheets.
Naks groaned slightly as he settled down on the bed next to Nigs. He coughed loudly again and almost puked. “You know what?”, he said, turning to a Nigs who was desperately trying to get some sleep. Nigs uttered a dissapproving grunt that Naks took to be a sign of interest. He went on, “You remember that girl I had been hitting on? You thought she was out of my league na? Too sophisticated for me. Ha ! Guess what? She is really beginning to show interest now. She even gave me her phone number. Look.” He shoved his phone in Nigs’s face. Nigs uttered a monotonic ‘hmm’ to satisfy his roommate and turned away again.
“Where is the bai yaar?”
Nothing could have pleased Nigs more than a sucker-punch in Naks face. Instead he replied, possibly for the last time, “Arey you have her number na? Call her, you idiot.” Naks was amazed by the enlightening idea. “Arey badhiya baat kahi tumne, Nigs. I’ll call her after I brush.” He stumbled to his feet and coughed rather horrendously. “Hang on,” *cough* “I’ll brush-“ *cough* “-and call her.” Scratching his newly shaved head, he headed off to the bathroom.
Naks’s phone rang next to Nigs. Any onlooker would have told you, it was the last nail in the coffin. A sleep-deprived Nigs is very capable of toppling any Most-wanted list on his day. It was the bai.
“Main aaj nahi aa rahi,” said her voice on the phone. “Main bimaar hoon”.
“Theek hai.”, said Nigs smartly. “Koi baat nahi”. He clicked the phone shut.
“Who was it?”, came Naks’s question to which Nigs had no hesitation in replying. “It was our good friend Mika. He will come a bit late today.”
“Oh, ok” said Naks from the bathroom and began humming a very irritating tune. Back in the living room, it was action time. It was really simple action though. Not fit for the script of a thriller movie. For you see, it was merely a matter of swapping numbers on a cell-phone. The bai and the sophisticated girl had now exchanged phonebook personalities.
Nigs placed the phone back on the bed as Naks entered in the room again. “Lao, give me the phone.” he said, but picked it up himself when Nigs failed to respond. Nigs turned around in his bed to satisfy his now-aroused curiosity as Naks dailed the bai’s number stored on his cellphone. Nigs grinned as he heard the phone ring at the other end.
“Hello”, said Nakul as someone answered the phone.
“Hi, Naks!” came the rather excited and accented reply. Naks raised an eyebrow. He never knew that his bai was an angrez.
“Aap ghar nahi aayin?”, he inquired, rather puzzled.
“What?” came the equally, if not more, puzzled reply. “Why would I come to your place?”
Naks stared at the phone for a second and then at Nigs. He covered the mouthpeice and hissed, “Nigs, did you know our bai knows english?” Nigs gave a broad smile and shook his head.
Naks got back to the phone rather confidently. Maybe this bai was pretty hot after all. He always had the hots for her, but had somehow been turned off by the lack of sophistication in her. Now this was an altogether new perspective of the bai.
“Arey aap yahaan pe kaam karti hain na? Flat 216? Aur aaj subah aap nahi aayin?”
“What are you saying, Naks? I don’t work for you.”
Nigs was shivering with excitement. He was tremendously pleased with the way this was heading.
“Kya baat kar rahin hain aap? Phir kaise kamaati hain?”. You could have pushed Nigs over with a leaf. He couldn’t believe Naks was dumb enough to ask such a question.
“What?! To hell with you! What work do I do there?”
“Arey aap hi toh yahaan saaf safayi kartee hain! Bhool kaise gayin?”
“OH SHIT! Naks, you a***ole. You think I am some kaam waali bai? Go to hell. [Hangs up]”
Naks stared at the phone again. Nigs was struggling to control his laughter. Naks finally turned to Nigs and said, “Yaar, our bai is hot! And she is playing hard-to-get.”