King Merlin


DAIICT, April 20 : A recent revelation by DodgeViper has created ripples in the student organization at DAIICT. Not too long after the 2005 batch farewell, a little known interview of DodgeViper had been conducted where it is said that he had stated the following – “Oh I just run the hub. Merlin is the one who supplies the porn. Don’t give that credit to me.”

The news of this startling statement created shock waves across the community here. The peer-to-peer sharing network was jammed with thousands of millions trying to access Merlin’s file share. DA-IICT’s LAN got so badly jammed that authorities had to turn off the power supply because the server was threatening to blow up.

So much for recent events. With the crown of the porn king now in new hands, it is of the essence that the general public get to know some more details of the newly established king.

Details :

Name : Merlin
Name stolen from : mym.Merlini
Birth Date : Unknown (His existence was discovered after Dodgey’s interview)
Believed stalwarts : Keeks, Smarty, Arthur, becks, x6
Source of porn : Secret Undisclosed Location
Interests : Girls, porn, Google android

It is believed that Merlin purchases his porn at a certain railway station. The porn there, according to sources, is prepared on the spot and provided to him. He has been a regular visitor at the station. One eyewitness has stated in a local newspaper, “Yes, I’ve seen him in the dead of the night. He wears a hooded cloak. Black color. And he always goes into the tiny room behind the station master and comes out with a sparkling DVD.”

Merlin is believed to procure a new DVD each time he goes home. In fact the number of times he has visited home can be calculated from the formula :

Number of times Merlin has gone home = (Share size [in GB]/ x)

where x is the size of a DVD in GB. By default x = 4.

With all the attention surrounding him, Merlin has decided to go underground. He has removed his collection from his DC share and denies any allegations of him being the porn king. Do NOT believe him.

eLitmus


“Kya?!”, he exclaims, “you haven’t applied for it?!” A couple of passers-by slow down their strides to have a better look.

“I am not taking the eLitmus test.” I said again, this time with a bit more composure. My friend’s mouth was oscillating between open and shut with remarkable regularity. Finally, he shuddered himself back to his senses. “Theek hai yaar, whatever pleases you.”

eLitmus was the in-thing that year. Everyone in my wing, my hostel, my college was taking that exam. Apparently, it prepared you to face the ‘real, corporate world’. So everyone rushed to take the exam and paid the rather steep fee for it as well. After all, who doesn’t want to be prepared for the ‘real corporate world’?

I was one of the five (or less) people in my batch who conveniently ignored this latest craze. Everyone, else was, of course, hell bent on proving me wrong. “Don’t you want a higher package?” “Don’t you want to prepare for placements?” “Don’t you want to get a boost to your career?” were the questions shot at me. I just shrugged.

Why? You ask? Here were the primary reasons:

1. I’ve always been scared of exams. My sentiment may not be reflected all over my score-cards, but there has always been something about tests that have bothered me. I try my best to be normal, in my defense, but sooner than later, I give up. The sole reason – Linearization. Linearization is , of course, the breaking down of any quantity into numerical values. The concept that anything and everything can be broken down to digits. An exam is nothing more than a living, running example of the same.

What may be weeks of studying, or months of understanding, or days of hard work, it all comes down to a single two-digit integer that gets etched in stone. Institutes, employers, and even your relatives associate you with the number. You score less, you have no say. The AIEEE rank, the JEE score, the GRE score are your only attributes. The professional world recognizes you by these numbers, establishes your identity.

I consider exams the biggest piece of BS invented by man. If you are going to judge a person based on one performance on a single day, you are never going to judge the person correctly. It is the most clear-cut case of judging a book by its cover.

2. Despite everything they said about eLitmus, they ignored hard facts. The highest package via eLitmus was just a little higher than the average package for my college. The average package doesn’t even come close. Sift through the list of companies that actually pick up students on the basis of eLitumus scores, you find a bunch of mass-recruiters. Here’s what really happens : They take students via eLitmus just to make up the numbers for the financial quarter. They don’t consider recruits as exceptional, no matter what the score. Would you really want to be a last-resort employee for a mass-recruiter.

Update:

————-

Right now, I work for a big-four consultancy company. The recruiters here have either never heard of eLitmus or they laugh at its mention. What they want are proven professionals, or students whose academic performance has been consistent over 4 years. Not a one-day flash in the pan.

Needless to say, I did not suck up and pay 1.5k (a big amount in those days) to this stupid company trying to mint money out of panicky students during college placement season. I am happy to say, I was right.

The great Dilemma


It is a dilemma indeed. Maintaining a blog can be both an honor and a total pain. It is an honor indeed when you are able and willing to write consistently.

You see, the entire magnitude of the matter lies in the word ‘consistently’. Being consistent is not the same as being regular. You can regularly write shit and get away with it. But once you have made up your mind to maintain a blog, you have to be consistent with what you do – both in the quality of your posts and in their regularity. It is of no use, (and indeed, of no fun) if either of the two is lacking; its merely a recipe for the slow decay and the subsequent demise of a blogging career.

The other day at the galla, I listened to my friend remark, ‘A hobby is no longer a hobby when there are deadlines to meet.’ Blogging is tricky and it takes a lot of determination to prevent oneself from losing interest when one hits a roadblock. Monetary blogs and personal-life blogs are the only ones with plenty of matter on them; for the simple reason – neither of them care about evaluation of quality. When a person dives headfirst into the blogosphere, there are always ideas and opportunities. It is only few who can withstand the test of time though. For, like all good things, even ideas come to an end. Before you know it, you would be up against a brick wall (Yes, the wall is all blank and dully colored). The famous (or rather, notorious) bloggers’ block.

I’ve hit it quite a few times now. I have had 3 failed blogs, that had precious few readers. The quality of the content was there, but soon enough I had exhausted my imagination (or maybe gotten too lazy for my own good). Quite a few people around me have advised me to pay a little more attention to my blog. They feel my writing skills are just being wasted on petty articles. ‘Do some serious blogging yaar,’ says Bhola ‘write something worth your time.’

And so I take his advice.

I hope I can find something that hits the right chords. Too monotonous, I lose my readers. Too sketchy, I lose my blogs worth. Too serious, I lose my own interest.

As an engineer, I’ll just opt for the simplest way out. My blog will set off on a plethora of topics. It is very probable that each article may be completely oblivious of its predecessor, but that’s how jumbled my brain is.